winter time funk

I can tell by the lack of posts just how much has been going on in my bike world or should I say the amount of effort I’m putting in to my bike world. I’m not saying I have done nothing but with very little motivation to push me, I have not done near enough.

I don’t know why I get this way. I had big hopes for riding better this year. I made some big improvements last year and though that would carry the motivation through the winter. I didn’t start out too bad other than eating too much for the holiday’s. Then the body started its aching and the motivation fades. It makes me not want to do anything. All the aching and on top of that moving hurts. One of my comforts is eating and that does not help with my weight or improving any of the other issues.

I made the spring training trip to Florida but have done very little since then. I didn’t even feel like posting about the trip yet. That should say just how motivated I have been to do things. It took me weeks just to put the riding gear in the wash. I have yet to clean the bike and it really needs it. I have a lot of bike work that needs done. The only thing I actually completed was fixing the cross bike from its last ride.

I did find myself one day trying to ride the bike in the back yard. The snow was too deep and with the top layer covered in ice, it didn’t work out too well. I thought if I went back and forth over the same area it would get better and I would be able to ride it.  That didn’t really happen and eventually gave up. I did get a good work out, but not exactly what I was thinking.

I started this post several days ago and just never finished it enough to post. After passing on some great weather on Sunday way too easy as it has been, I find myself rushing out of work to get a few things done and try to get my trashed bike rolling good enough to join a 6:00 ride. I knew there were going to be a few people there and even more showed up that I thought. For a change I was feeling excited to get out on my bike. There were 16 riders that showed up.

The excitement didn’t last too long when the group took off like it was last fall. I am very aware that I have some big down falls in my riding. One of them being that if I start too hard, I am screwed. The level of too hard may very depending on how good of shape that I am in, but right now that does not take too much to reach that point. The group took off a little over 20 and my heart rate was out the roof. I might have had a chance to settle down and hang on with a group that size, but there was a long enough hill right at the start. I didn’t do too bad at first, then they all pulled away. I tried to bridge the gap, but they didn’t slow down and I just dug a deeper hole.

There ended up being 3 of us that were spit out the back. We ended up realizing that none of us were going to catch the group and just rode together. I was a good ride and we put in a nice loop. It was good to have a couple guys to ride with. If I would have been alone, I am not sure how far I would have gone. In fact I even thought about taking a left very early in the ride. I am glad that I didn’t think about that too long.

Right now I am happy that my body aches for a good reason. That is much better than the normal reasons that it hurts. I just hope that tomorrow is even more of an issue than normal. That will not be good for the motivation to try and do more. I do have a little more motivation to get back in to shape so I can hang with the big boys. The problem is that it is also not motivational to think about how much of a gap that is to try and close up. It is also not the best that as hard as it was to get out of the house, it will be that much harder to talk myself in to doing it the next time. I just have to keep thinking about how much I enjoyed riding a bike again and continue to build on that. Maybe someday the speed will come back.

Yea I know at lease one of my friends is calling me Eeyore. Maybe that is a good name for me, but I do struggle with some mental demons on some things that I just can’t seem to shake long term. I have moments that everything is all good, but there is always a shelf life on that feeling. I will just keep fighting that fight and try to make the good times out weigh the bad times. I am also working some making some changes that I hope will help with all the pain.

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One Response to winter time funk

  1. Lindsay Hall says:

    I know the feels. When you get knocked down mentally, all you can really do is get back up, fight harder, and hope that one day it will eventually stick.

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