After this weekend I feel like I should be like in the Rocky movie and throw in the towel. After this week it will have been 3 weeks since I have been on a bike. I say after this week because I just don’t see myself getting out any time before next weekend. I am out of town for work Wed-Friday. I have stuff going on Saturday morning. So, Sunday will be my first chance.
Here I have all of these big ideas about riding and doing some races, but I am passing up my chance to really make a difference in myself. My weight is almost back up to where I was at the beginning of the year. So much for all of the work I did to loose it! Also, I keep eyeballing those hundies or wimping out and doing to fifty mile version, but who am I kidding. Right now a 20 would hurt. Here I have a good start to a work out plan for the winter and I can not say that I have actually done anything on it yet. Granted it was not a perfect plan, but I do have to actually do some work for anything to make a difference.
I have a lot of things going around in my head and also thinking of my yesterdays. When I could race the sport class or even the expert class. I would head out in to the woods for a normal 5-6 hour ride with out a second thought. Hell just a few years short ago I was riding in the snow for night rides with it being below 40 degree and my water freezing on me and loving every minute of it.
How can someone want to do something so bad and not want to do it at the same time? I fear that this type of depression state will set anchor. The only thing I can think is I really need to find a good riding partner. A riding partner will make the worst day of riding seem better.
I would not have thought it would be so hard to find someone to ride with, but the truth is I can not find anyone around. Everyone that I could ride with is either 2+ hours away or now working 5 day’s a week and his off day is a work day for me!
It is just about time to throw in the towel and have that extra helping of cookies and milk or those extra 8 beers on top of the 6 I already had…………..not like that will really help.